I’ve decided to start a blog. When I say “start” what I really mean is “get back on the wagon.” Last year was the first year I didn’t keep a blog in some form or fashion, whether it be hosted on a once trendy site such as livejournal, or through the journal update sections on various social networking websites. I’m not really sure why I fell off the blogwagon. I got increasingly involved in a relationship that essentially only existed online, I discovered a lot of new websites and communities, I began to focus on other things, and somewhere down the line I decided that I had better ways to spend my online time than by writing a blog. So I stopped. But a funny thing happened. Life still kept going, and a lot of shit happened. Even though I’ve never had a lot of people following and commenting, it still helps to just flesh things out in writing. It’s a coping mechanism of sorts amongst those of us with literate brains. As shit continued to happen and I found less and less people who wanted to hear about it, I withdrew into my own thoughts and became increasingly dissatisfied and emotionally all over the place. Fast forward to this, the dawn of a new year (possibly the last year, if the Mayans are to be believed), and in the spirit of self medication I have decided that the best thing for my mental health is to return to the world of blogging. So that’s just what I did.

Two-thousand eleven was a strange year. I’m sure there were many good things that happened, I just wasn’t paying attention to them. My aforementioned relationship crumbled, as did several close friendships. My stress level skyrocketed and so did my weight and cholesterol. My sleep level plummeted. But if I had to pick one thing to define my year, personally it was the loss of my grandmother. Seeing someone who practically raised me slip into dementia and have to go into a nursing home just months after her 90th birthday was pretty rough. Everything happened so quickly, and I never got another chance to see her before she passed away two days before Thanksgiving. That, in a nutshell, is where life seems to be right now – things that were familiar have been stripped of their shine, and it is all too obvious how quickly everything is passing by us all. I’ve spent the better part of the last six months working two jobs, usually with one day off a week, growing ever distant from life itself, feeling more like a spectator watching it roll past. For the sake of my own sanity, in the coming year I will slow this pace and take the opportunity to involve myself with life once again, rather than just watch it.

It hasn’t been all bad. In the past year I met some amazing people, I got a new job and a new roommate, I released a new album of original songs, and I reconnected with the visual arts in a way I haven’t been able to do since college. I started seeing a doctor and was placed on a few new medications that may very well change a lot of things for the better. I’ve nearly eliminated the headaches that were once a twice daily occurence, and I’ve cut back on caffeine and other things my body doesn’t really need. I’m finally able to sleep at a normal hour like so-called normal people. And I walk a lot. But there’s still so much that remains to be done.

I plan on updating this whenever the mood hits me, and ultimately in the near future creating a new website to promote myself. With art and music scattered all over the web, and no discernible future other than retail slavery, it makes sense personally and professionally to gather the best of the best in one place and market the hell out of it. What’s the worst that can happen, right? So that’s my plan for 2012 – taking that next important step towards what the kids call “doing something with my life.” For those of you who might jump aboard, wish me luck and stay tuned.

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