This morning I got a text message and found myself in a situation that is more familiar to me than it should be. Surely my readers will remember the much-hyped Ms. Rainbow Toenails from a few weeks ago. The last time I got a text message from her was maybe the sixth, and since then I haven’t texted her. Then out of nowhere today I get a text from her fiance (whom she conveniently referred to as her boyfriend until the day she left town and presumably had a long car ride to think about things and feel guilty) saying something to the effect of “you better never text my fiance again you fuckin hear me!” I thought about replying, but instead just laughed it off.

This has happened before, several times in fact. I meet a girl and get somewhat involved with her, only to find out she has a boyfriend/fiance/husband/girlfriend/whatever. Then the significant other will flip out and threaten me. I find it kinda funny actually, because these winning specimens of the male species never once think to put any of the blame on their girls. It’s always my fault. Had I have replied to him, I would have told him how rather than get mad at someone he’s never met, perhaps he should have a talk with her about flirting with guys in the pool and giving them her number. She was the one who started playfully kicking me, and who didn’t resist my advances at all. She was the one who said she wanted to keep in touch and gave me her number. She was the one who started every text conversation we had, save for the last one when I asked her if she still wanted to talk or not. But homo smalldickus never thinks to accuse the girl, he always has to go after the guy so as to make his presence felt and feel like a tough guy.

I don’t like interfering and breaking up couples. It’s not something I go out of my way to do, and in the event it happens I feel pretty bad. But evidently these relationships aren’t so great and these guys aren’t so amazing if their girls are out flirting, giving out their number, and participating in various stages of physical and/or sexual activity. Why get mad at the guy when the problem might just be right in front of your nose? Fix your own issues, then feel free to get mad at me. Or don’t fix them, and get pissed off at the next guy she gives her number to, because it will most certainly happen again. And won’t you feel like such a big tough man then? Ha!