The past twenty-four hours have been a rollercoaster ride. Let’s examine some of the highlights and lowlights, shall we?

Good: I had a dream that I wrote a song on bass. I woke up and immediately grabbed my bass. To my surprise, the notes that I played in the dream actually sound really cool, and it could potentially become a good song.

Good: Had a nice little workout, ate some Cheerios, and left for work ahead of schedule.

Good: I began my workday in a great mood, daydreaming mostly about the classes I registered for yesterday, the fact that I have tomorrow off and nothing at all to do, and the fact that I have a date on Friday with the lovely Kat.

Bad: My mom calls me at work to tell me that my grandmother has passed. She’s been in a coma for months, hooked up to all sorts of machines, so it was no surprise. Furthermore, when you’ve already lost two other grandparents in the past ten months, you kinda get used to this sort of thing. But my family is already at it, arguing over whether or not there should be a wake (umm, hello!) and how best to spend the money my grandfather left in his will. At this point I’m just kinda numb to the whole process – losing people and not getting to say goodbye, greedy family members dragging things out, having to think about taking time off and driving to the other side of the state, etc. I’m not sure what emotions to feel right now, so I just shut down. I honestly can’t believe how they’ve acted ever since the day she went in the hospital, and the thought that they might not have any kind of wake or memorial disgusts me. I watched their greed and ego problems make an already fragile situation become way harder than it should be with my grandfather, I have no desire to watch it all over again. I have no intention of being a part of this charade and I want nothing to do with them. They can drag her memory through the mud like they did with his, I’ll just be hanging out. I’m not going to let this bring me down, I have too much on my plate as it is, and I’m pretty sure she would understand and approve.

Meh: I send a text to Kat to open up a dialog about our date on Friday. We never discussed where we’d go or when we’d meet, and I also wanted to warn her that I might be a bit out of it because of the aforementioned situation. She didn’t reply. Maybe she’s at work. Maybe her phone is turned off. Maybe she’s taking a nap. Who knows.

Bad: An hour later I still haven’t gotten a reply, so I send another text. I say that I hope I didn’t catch her at a bad time, and if so she can just text me whenever. After more than three hours, still no reply. Maybe she’s working a double? Maybe her phone is dead? Maybe my texts aren’t sending? My paranoia (mostly warranted, based on previous dating history) worries that it might be something altogether different from those possible scenarios – she might be ignoring me.

Meh: I snag two damaged canvases before I leave work. They’re a little wobbly, and kind of a weird size. But hey – they’re free. Free art supplies are always good. So maybe put this down as “meh and a half.”

Good: I speak to my boss for our daily closing phone call and she tells me to take $50 out of the deposit for finishing this month’s newsletter. It’s always good to have cash in your wallet, especially when you’ve got a hot date coming up soon.

Meh: I marvel at the little things when I notice that the sign above the checkout at Greenlife says “5 items or fewer.” Hooray for correct grammar. But it really doesn’t make much of a difference in the grand scheme of things, now does it?

Meh: I have veggie burgers and fries for dinner and watch the Democratic National Convention.

Good: Bill Clinton uses the phrase “donut hole” several times in the span of a few minutes. I am further blown away by his persuasive ability when I mysteriously begin to crave donuts. I decide to go to Ingles once his speech ends and buy some donuts, and Joshua tags along.

Good: As we’re coming back from the store I see Michelle walking to her apartment. I talk to her for a minute and ask if she’s talked to Kat. Turns out she just came from her house. They have a weekly Wednesday game night thing. This leads me to believe I’m not being ignored after all. She was probably working, and once she got off work game night began. She probably didn’t check her phone the whole time because she was already surrounded by several of her closest friends. Any of the other scenarios could still apply, but I’m choosing to believe the positive one, and hope that I will get a reply from her tomorrow. So maybe this is “meh and a half” as well.

Meh: I’m bored. I’m physically sleepy, but my brain is bouncing everywhere. But I don’t have to wake up at any set time tomorrow, so I can just play around on the computer until I get un-bored or my mind catches up with my body and decides to go to sleep. That’s pretty much where we stand.

 

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